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Friday, 18 July 2014

Alien vs. Baby



In 1979, the primary school I attended sold premier tickets to the movie “ALIEN”, as fund raising.

I was 9 years old and excited to see the movie. In our area it was a long awaited event.

Age restrictions and those minor details were not a serious concern of most parents back then.

During the movie I was totally terrified and still vividly recall the alien impregnated the man when it smothered his face, how it grew inside and broke free out of his stomach; the hideous snake like alien, that emerged and grew into the human killing machine.

I spent most of the movie sitting behind the front seat, so as not to see and kept my ears closed.

The way it grew inside the humans after being impregnated left me with a phobia against all pregnant women.

I could never go near pregnant women without thinking an Alien might emerge and spray me with acid. Perhaps even impregnate me with that snake like monster.

When my wife became pregnant, this fear was still quite alive, not that I thought it was an Alien, but  I could not even imagine I had some connection to the baby within and even that it was a baby.

I used to tell my wife, please don’t be angry that I can’t feel connected. 

To me the whole pregnancy was eerie. I attended every ultra sound to make sure it was a human growing. Was always relieved, but then the feeling returned until the next ultra sound. All the while having no connection to the growing fetus.

I wondered if other men also felt disconnected. It was something consuming my wife. As soon as she became pregnant it was like a possessed woman emerged. 

She was always tired, adopted strange eating habits, then vomited, gained masses of weight, was over emotional, sometimes erratic mood changes and we argued for the first time. 

When the baby started to move, this really freaked me. “Where is that ultra sound machine when I need it most?”

The birthday arrived via natural birth. Labor lasted seven hours. The Governor was tough. She breathed deep and forgot to exhale during most contractions. She made no peep, no screaming, nothing like in all the movies I have seen of hysterical shouting women.

I am so pleased she was so calm. Calming me down as well. Yes, it was her in birth, and she was in pain but, it was me who faced an emerging alien, who consumed  my wife’s mind and body for nine months.

The risk of losing my wife remained. Like in the movie, all the humans died after the Alien emerged.

When she was calm, I was calm and she breathed deep and worked through the contractions. Squeezing my hand through each contraction.

The baby did not pass into this world in one contraction. It first moved down a bit and when the doctor could feel the head he said, “It will be here soon. Just a few more contractions”. 

Then the head emerged. Black greasy hair sticking to the scalp. My first relief. No snake like alien. On the next contraction the rest of the body slipped out.

Baby was all purple and squashed. "That was actually very cool, " I thought. There was no alien and baby looked like a complete miniature human.

She did not breathe when the doctor held her in a sitting position; this was ok since she was still attached to the umbilical cord.

My alien fear was erased and replaced by wonder and anticipation of her first breath or signs of life as I knew it.

All of a sudden her eyes popped open really wide, she took one stare at the world and then made a rasping crying sound, like clearing her airways.

This moment overwhelmed me. She remained calm as her eyes slowly scanned the room.

What was she seeing?

Could she hear my heartbeat?

Was she cold?

Where did she think she was?

She was strangely calm, just circling her eyes around while lying on her mother's bosom. I could not stop watching in amazement.

Just a few moments ago there was only my wife and I. Now there was a baby, a little girl. "My little Beauty Queeny," the most wonderfully beautiful creation I have even seen.

Gone were all the feelings and fears I had. It was love at first sight.

I then told myself. “P. Bear,  You now have a reason to be strong and healthy, your job now is to protect and raise this little Beauty Queeny. She is the one who vanquished your tormenting Alien.”


8 comments:

  1. Amazing rendition of a man who comes undone then gets the pieces come together to form a father. I love the analogy in this piece.

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  2. This was a beautiful read :'(
    We DNT always hear from a man's perspective ..... Totally luvd it

    Every dad shud read or write something like this!
    I was a little mad wen I gave birth! Not a peep...... Nuts lol!!!!!!! Well done to wyfie!!!

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  3. Great piece houseman. Reminds of Rumi - "cry not at our departure, rather smile and remember the fond memories we shared. Search not for our tomb in the graveyards of the world; rather search for us in the hearts of the people we have touched." Continue to cherish and make fond memories :-)

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  4. I wonder if you watched the sequels in anticipation of the birth of your other kids !

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  5. This article truly touched me and allowed me to understand the value of being healthy. Being able to go to work and come back without any difficulties, you don't really understand how precious life is until you lose something. Thank you for your contribution and allowing me to understand.

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  6. Thanks for sharing your perspective! I think more dads need to do this, so I wrote up our birth story. Please check it out!
    http://www.brandnewpapa.com/2016/06/02/today-im-brand-new-papa-baby-born/

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  7. Thanks for sharing your story! I think more dads need to do this, so I started my own blog. Check out our birth story!
    http://www.brandnewpapa.com/2016/06/02/today-im-brand-new-papa-baby-born/

    ReplyDelete

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