Friday, 12 September 2014

Dreams we Live. Part 1: The Dream.

I awoke at two am from a recurring nightmare.

The dream always follows the same pattern. I am back in my home town, I can’t find my family and I am trapped in a town with people I prefer not to be around.

I know my family is in another country but, all access to them is always blocked or I can’t find a way out of my home town.

Sometimes I can’t find my wife’s phone number or can’t remember it or I have the number, but can’t find a phone that works and when I find a working phone I can’t seem to dial the numbers correctly.

Sometimes I get into frustrating talks or activities with locals. We simply can’t agree with the simplest things, like a cat is actually not a dog and nobody wants to understand that.

When I decide to go back to my family I can’t find the airport or I can’t find money or the taxi gets delayed or the taxi driver just vanishes.

Not to mention at times the toilet scenes. I get trapped in toilets that are blocked, over flowing with shit or my clothes touch it and then there’s no water to wash it.

Sometimes I am looking for places and find no people to help with directions, or the car drives but, I am not moving and when I eventually find a person who I think can help, then that person can’t understand.

There are always many variations of how I am trapped in my home town and blocked from my family.

However, this dream was different initially.

I went back to when I was seventeen. Just when I started university.

The world was open and I still had all the knowledge of my older self, packaged in my healthy potent youthful body.

I could start over, correct the bad choices I made and make a fortune with my knowledge on investments and ideas from the future.

I could then live my life as a thinker exploring my ideas, doing the sports I liked, while teaching the martial arts I am adept at.

University would be my playground to explore myself.

A pain free body is an amazing gift, what an exhilaration to have again. How I missed the ability to direct my body and have it respond with perfect precision.

The studies I could do into my mind and the herds of people who were at my disposal to test my theories.

So many beautiful processes were at my disposal, that I Iove so much to dissect, scatter, taste and rebuild, without any need of finding solutions or having an end product.

To me it’s always about the process in finding solutions or the debate is about the idea of the discussion, the topic or solution is never relevant.

And yet, a thought entered my dream, “what if I become famous and trapped in this second chance, would I still have my three daughters later in life that I am so dearly attached to?”

Then the search to find ways to get my second chance to still lead me to being with my dear family started and the recurring nightmare was back, which eventually woke me.

It was a warmer night than the last few days and because I slept too early, I could not immediately fall asleep.

The dream was so vivid that I continued the thoughts of options on how and when I could change my choices, live my great free adventurous life and still end up with my family.

Continued in Part 2  .....

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