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Friday, 12 September 2014

Dreams we Live. Part 2: Time Options.




From the sleep dream, to the wake dream.

In the early morning hours, when I try to fall asleep, the dreams I just had can easily absorb my thoughts.

The main theme I dreamt of now was;

 “How can I go back to the past in my young body and still make sure I meet my kids in the future.”

Where would I jump back to?

Should I go back to when I was 4 and had the accident? That certainly is something that disturbed my life for many years. It did have some good effects, in that it drove me to prove I was  more worthy than others without my injury.

Or should I go back to when Lana was 13 and prevent her accident. Then save her again at 15 and return at 18 before she meets her first romance. I would be 25 and prepared for her and would know how to win her heart.

But will we be able to produce the 3 kids we now have?

At 36 I will prevent my next accident and will make sure I don’t get sick, since I now know movement will work to prevent my ailment.

Perhaps I would make new kids and we will be happy and financially secure with the money I would make from investments.

No, I would miss my kids too much; I don’t miss the kids I never had. What would wealth, health fitness, happiness of new kids be without my girls. The memories of them will never be able to be filled or removed.

My Mongkey, Pops and Queeny. That is my adventure, they are most important and they are here, I have them now. 

So what are the options even if now the insurance company will refuse to pay my claim and we lose all our possessions? 

Then again, only a minute amount of kids have parents who make enough money to ensure that their kids never need to work for a living.

What percentage of those are living lives they feel satisfied with?

Many super rich children grow up unhappy with the world and have no goals to live for.

What kind of a life is that to have?

Do I wish that on my children?

It’s probably easier to find a cause in life if you have to find your own basics to survive. Hence, it is probably better for kids not to have endless wealth to live in, but to build a house and grow their own food.

Also it’s probably tougher to find a good partner if you have much wealth or are to famous

What would all that I have now matter?

I fear losing our house, clothes, TVs, possessions etc.

In 15 years all my children will be adults and what will these possessions we have now matter?

Would they miss the car they had 15 years ago when they can then buy their own cars?
I can guarantee, that I most likely will not make enough money to secure their lives financially, such that, they would never need to work even if I get to keep all the possessions I now have.

So there should be no concern about loosing the possessions we now have, since its only a means now to get to a future, a future we will anyway have.

So if go back to 2005 when Mongkey, my baby, was born ensuring I have the kids I now have, prevent my accident and set myself on a path to being healthy, I would most like be a working dad and see my children less than I see them now. This precious gift I have received would be gone.

To be an unhappy stay at home dad, angry at the insurance companies for stealing my money will only harm my children. They mean the most to me and I can be with them so much now in my sick state.

So let adventure start now. The possessions lost won’t matter even if it is an injustice.

Injustice drives revenge, revenge mostly does not remove the feeling of being wronged.

What can remove this feeling?

Perhaps knowing that I made the best choices I could and still having a life that I am satisfied with.

And what is a satisfactory life for me?

A life with my Governor and loving wife Lana, our three warrior souls and daily battling and surviving the challenges of life.

The adventure is what I have now, just as it is.

My girls asked “when do we get the answer from the insurance”. “I don’t know, but whatever it is, we will have a good adventure and strive together, and prepare you, to make your own adventure with your lives”.

The Only attachment, for me, that is  worth holding onto, are my children, and only until they can hold onto themselves.


Part 1

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